Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Haiku:














Borrowed skin that clings
Like winter fever in me.
Fingers on fire.

Monday, October 18, 2010

Haiku:
















A warm dream sets in:
You plunge through the night, caught in
A suspended dance.

Saturday, October 09, 2010

Colour Test

You have no idea how accurate this test is. Saw it on Gerlynn's blog. Take it here if you're interested.

Here are my results:


Color Test - Results

Your Existing Situation
Needs excitement and constant stimulation. Willingly participates in activities that are thrilling and offer adventure.

Your Stress Sources
"Has high standards and wants to make friends with those who have equally high standards; however, she has been unsuccessful in building these types of relationships. she is feeling under appreciated and her self-esteem is damaged because of it. she is uncomfortable with the situation and wishes to escape, but refuses to make compromises or lower her standards. Puts off resolving her problems because she afraid of the conflicts it may cause. In order to feel secure, she needs to feel appreciated by others so they will do what she asks of them and respect her opinions"

Your Restrained Characteristics
Current events leave her feeling forced into compromise in order to avoid being cut off from affection or future cooperation.

Has strong emotional demands and is picky when it comes to choosing a partner. she chooses to remain emotionally distant and uninvolved in relationships.

"Seeking to broaden her horizons and believes her hopes and dreams are realistic. Worries she may not be able to do the things she wants and needs to escape to a peaceful, quiet environment in order to restore her confidence."

Current events have her feeling forced to make bargains and put aside her own desires for now. she is able to find satisfaction and happiness through sexual activity.


Your Desired Objective
"If motivated, she will easily and quickly learn new skills. Is very intense person who seeks excitement and sexual stimulation. Wants others to see her as an exciting and interesting person, who is also charming and can easily influence others. Uses her charm to increase her chances of success and gain other people's trust."

Your Actual Problem
"Impressed by unique and one of a kind things, and by people with exceptional personalities. Tries to takes the characteristics she likes in other people and apply it to herself as well as coming across as a unique individual."

Your Actual Problem #2
"Feeling tension and stress brought on by situations which are out of her control, leaves her feeling helpless, anxious, and in adequate. she tries to escape into a fantasy world where things go her way and her desires are easier to reach."


Freakishly accurate. Apart from the sex part, that is.

Wednesday, October 06, 2010

This past week has been busybusybusy. I hate how this semester's turning out. 'Hate' is not a word I normally use, but come on, I'm only a sophomore who has no clue what I'm going to be after I graduate. Is there a need for all these academic demands?


Never mind. It's just five and a half more weeks to go before the exams. And then everything will be over. After the two presentations next week, things will hopefully die down. I've said this before, but I'll say this again: projects are a bitch.


Okay. That's probably enough negativity for a night. I'm actually supposed to be working on my readings while simultaneously drawing up my research proposal for my bilingualism module, but yes I'm here blogging and I'm also reading Wu Chun's blog and scouring for pictures of Jiro (at last count, I have 328 pictures of him in my file) on Facebook. Multitasking is good for your brain, says I.


It seems like my days are counted down according to deadlines and presentations these days. Man, I'll be glad when this semester's over!


Gerlynn and the rest have started their first semester in uni too, and while YL's practically AWOL these days, being completely tied up with school activities, Gerlynn's beginning to experience the onset of disillusionment brought about by being an undergrad. As I had and still am experiencing. I don't know what it is about being in university that makes us feel this way. To see everyone slogging their guts out to get a 4.0 CAP or higher, participating so actively in class, passionately involved in discussions, etc, I can't help but take a step back and wonder if I can ever be like them, or if I even want to. I don't really get the point of all this. I don't know if I can be that impassioned about what I'm learning. What I'm learning is interesting enough, but it's not like I want to make it my life's work. Social variation in English or the how's and why's of language acquisition are not something I want to pursue.


It's strange. I never really used to feel this way when I was in secondary school, or junior college. All I knew then was that I had to work hard - that I wanted to work hard - so I could prove that I wasn't worthless. Everyone says I have to go to uni, get a well-paying job with good perks and promotion, and all my hard work at O' and A' levels will be worth it.


But right now, the problem sets in. I don't even know what I want to be after I graduate (it used to be 'in the future', but now that the future is so close, it seems more apt to use 'after I graduate' instead). What do I like? What do I want in life? What is the point of life? A fat, regular paycheck? Bags? Cars? Shoes?


It's enough to make my head explode, thinking about all this. I've said before that sometimes I don't know what I'm doing in uni, and when I said it at the primary 6 barbeque last Saturday, they laughed, thinking I was joking. But I was more serious than they probably thought I was. Mr Chan assured me that I'll find a job that suits me, that I'll like, but right now I'm not feeling too optimistic.


Gosh, life is a bitch. Oh well. At least I have someone who understands how I feel. Kisses, Ger!


And thank goodness for small comforts: