Yes, it's been a while. I'm done wallowing in those rejection letters. Now I'm still awaiting replies from agents while I query more of them.

In the meantime, here are some writing links I found useful:

On introverted writers

Tips for writing a really good "shitty first draft" from Writer Unboxed

12 Famous Writers on Literary Rejection, from Aerogramme Writers' Studio

Lately, I've been drawing inspiration from classic children's stories like Alice in Wonderland and Peter Pan. Ever since I saw this picture of Super Junior member Lee Donghae, my mind has latched onto the idea of a modern Peter Pan.

 

And:

 

 

Doesn't he look just like a Peter Pan? That twinkle in his eye and that smile! *fangirl mode on*


And then there's this quote from J.M. Barrie's Peter Pan:

 

 

 

And this, from Alice in Wonderland:

 

 

 

  

Gotta love magical realism - there's just something comforting and promising about them. This is the vein I've been writing in for UNTIL MORNING, the first draft of which I completed a week ago: whimsical, romantic, funny and somehow sad. At least, that's how I hope it turns out.



Next up, I'm finally going to try and finish writing FIFTEEN MINUTES DOWN SUNSET AVENUE, after letting it languish in My Documents folder for too long as I worked on BLOOD PROMISE and UNTIL MORNING. Until then, Peter Pan can wait.

#^$%^#%, WIP!

Big problem. Big, big problem with my work-in-progress. And here is where I come to whine sort out my thoughts.

I'm torn between abandoning my WIP and pressing on. Of course, I'm more inclined towards the latter. But I've come to the devastating conclusion that I am not ready to write this story. I was never meant to write this story. Yes, I had fun writing it. But that, really, seems to be all there is to it. It's just a story, a simple shallow story without a discernable theme, inconsistent characters and a meek plot. I don't have anything to say about anything, and my characters are just going with the flow, not forced to make their own decisions or learn something about themselves or the world they live in.

Long story short (pun unintended), I can't go on.

A hiatus and a revision later, 15 MINUTES DOWN SUNSET AVENUE is still not working. It feels like I'm surrendering, giving up at page 241 now, but I simply don't know how to rev up the engine again. Here I am, giving in to the midstory goblin, just like I had for MINT. Except while I gave up at page 157 for MINT, I'm giving up at page 241 now.

But 15 MINUTES is a complete mess, in terms of plot, characters and theme. The characters are inconsistent, especially Prince, and the stakes are not high enough. The subplots are not complementing the main plot as well as I would like them to, and the characters haven't experienced the proverbial end of the world before dawn breaks. And I'm already at page 241. How long more am I going to make my characters walk about on the page? How are the characters going to make tough choices if there isn't a strong enough conflict to jolt them into action?

Okay. Deep breath. One problem at a time.

Problem 1: character.

Prince. One of the main characters. Arrogant, narcissistic pop idol who went on a two-year hiatus after his father, with whom he is very close, died. He has decided to fulfil his father's wish and make a comeback. Problem: in the period he's been gone, other pop idols have risen and eclipsed him, but his fans remain loyal and stand by him throughout his tumultuous journey to reclaim his throne.

And that's where the logical problem lies. If he's got such a huge and devout fan base, why would his comeback be such a struggle for him? I wrote it such that his arrogance and impetuousness is the reason why directors and music producers are reluctant to work with him. But he's a good cash cow - wouldn't they fight to work with him even though he's really difficult to work with? Also, I intended to make his comeback really tough and fraught with problems (personal life - his relationship with Chloe; public image - a sore loser who can't deal with competition; reputation - impulsive, conceited brat, rude to the media), but how tough can it be if there are so many fans supporting him? Because for all his shortcomings, Prince is the best when it comes to his fans and close friends. I need him to have a redeeming quality, you see, otherwise readers will hate him.

Also, another problem: his father died. If he was so devastated by his father's death, so much so that he had to take a 2-year hiatus from work, wouldn't he be more humble and less arrogant, narcissistic and impulsive? He would be more sombre, or at least slightly more mature, wouldn't he? But I've always had the image of Prince as an arrogant brat who is, if nothing, generous to the people he loves. People who know him love him as much as they hate him, while his fans are completely smitten with him. So that's another problem.

Next, the problem of theme. Every story needs one. Every story needs to circle around this theme and provide an insight into the human condition (or at least, just the protagonist's condition) or the environment he or she lives in. What's the theme for 15 MINUTES? What was my theme for MINT? Am I making the same mistake? Not digging deep enough into my story? I suppose Chloe's fear of stepping out of her comfort zone could be something readers might relate to. That, and her inability to make decisions for herself, seeing as how she is so used to taking care of others and putting other people's needs before her own. I could use this encounter with Prince and his world to trigger a character transformation in Chloe. But, if Chloe was afraid to step out of her comfort zone, why would she agree to be Prince's assistant? Oh right, because of the money. Her parents' business venture failed....

(Don't mind me. I'm just thinking aloud.)

Another problem: plot. What are the stakes, for Chloe and Prince? They aren't high enough. Their problems are not big enough to make readers want to stick around and find out what happened to them in the end. No one will care. Prince needs to lose everything he has. His career, Chloe ... his fans? He (and Chloe, now employed as his personal assistant) need to abandon all hope, make a decision, stick to it and live with the consequences. But he hasn't lost enough yet. Maybe I'm mollycoddling my characters too much. I don't want anything too bad to happen to them. Maybe that's why I'm stuck in this stalemate. I have my antagonist, Sawyer, who is Prince's bandmate and now rival (because he signed on to be a pop idol without telling Prince) in both the spotlight and in love (i.e. Chloe). I have Prince's mother, who will remove anyone and anything that stands in the way of Prince's success. But how to make them work - how to weave the story, subplots with main plot - is the question.

Anyone who thinks writing a story is easy needs to try it on their own.

Given that a number of things (not too significant, so don't hold your breath, if you are) have happened since the last time I blogged, I think I'll make a list of updates this time.

I. Bidding period begins.

Can you feel the anticipation, the territorial vigilance with which everyone is camping out before their computers, lying in wait for the next bidder so that they can one-up him and throw in a higher bid? I know seniors get priority (well, not exactly priority - just that they have more points accumulated from past semesters and can afford to bid higher), but with so few options this coming semesters, competition for English modules is tough! And because of some administrative failures last semester, I absolutely have to take five English modules next semester so I can graduate on time. So I HAVE - did I mention HAVE? - to secure all five. The only five, in fact, because I've taken the rest before. You'd wonder why they offer so few English modules for this coming semester. I could ask the same.

So if everything goes according to plan, I'd be taking:

1. EL3204, Discourse Structure
2. EL3206, Psycholinguistics
3. EL3252, Language Planning and Policy
4. EL3880E, Second Language Learning,
5. EL3257, Investigating Language in the Media

I know. Hardly inspiring or scintillating. But, you know, school is school. No more fun modules, like Playwriting or language modules. Speaking of which, I got the A I wanted for Playwriting, and did better than I expected for my other modules. It's different when you feel passionately about the things you study, indeed.

II. One more semester and I'm done with school. Can you believe it? Not to sound completely corny, but it feels just like yesterday that I attended my first 10am lecture at LT11. I was rereading Megan McCafferty's Charmed Thirds, the third of the Jessica Darling series, where Jess attends Columbia University. And I just felt like it was such an apt book to be reading, because I could totally relate to what she was going through. The uncertainty, in the new environment and in herself, the diversity, and the stuff she was learning, the what-am-I-going-to-do-with-my-life-after-I-graduate brand of anxiety. My three years of tertiary education is coming to an end, and I feel more than ever the pressure to make a decision, pick a path already, plan plan plan your life, don't waste time or you'll fall behind.

I admit, a lot of the pressure comes from myself. My dad's not putting any pressure on me to earn my first million by the time I'm 25 or whatever, but I do want to achieve something quick so that I can show my dad that I will get by in life and that he doesn't have to worry so much.

But 2012 seems bleak, at least on the job market front. And that's not something I can control. So in the words of my dad, let go of what you can't control.

III. So Christmas has come and gone. Next up: New Year's. Excited? Not really. Thankful, though? Definitely. We've all lived through another year, at the very least, and that's always something to be thankful for.

IV. I'm currently reading The Grift by Debra Ginsberg. This is the third time I'm attempting to read it. I don't know why I didn't manage to get through it the previous couple of times, because it's actually a pretty well-written story. Not so much about plot, but about character, and it's high time I learnt how to write a character-driven novel without sucking instead of falling back on plot every time my story stalls.

And remember when I said my goal was to finish writing Fifteen Minutes Down Sunset Avenue by the end of this holiday? Yeah, that's not going to happen. Unless I manage to write, like, ten pages a day every day until 9 January 2012, the first day of school (after which I won't have time to write at all). At the rate I'm going (about three pages a day), that seems highly unlikely. Still, it's making progress. And I've finally come up with an idea on how I'm going to raise the stakes and resolve the story. All that's left is to write it. Which is always easier said than done.

V. The National Arts Council is organising a competition to select five young adult manuscripts to publish. And I was considering sending in Fifteen Minutes, but that doesn't seem possible now. With all the editing to do, it'll take me months before I deem the final manuscript ready. Besides, I'm still too attached to Lambs for Dinner to pass it up for this competition. But one of the criteria is that the story should not incite violence. And Lambs is really a little dark. Maybe not gory, but it might incite violence, how should I know? So I either risk submitting something that may or may not go against their criteria, or submit something that's not ready yet. I don't know about you, but the latter seems much worse to me. So Lambs it is. I believe more in it than Fifteen Minutes anyway. At least for the moment.

On (not-so) Secret Novel, amazing novels, and novel experiences

It's taken me long enough to blog again.

School starts in a week. And while I'm looking forward to LAF1201 (Beginner French) and EN3271 (Advanced Playwriting), I'm keeping my fingers crossed (if I believe in crossing fingers) that this semester isn't going to sap me of all I am.

Still, I have a week more to go. And I intend to spend it the way I want. That, of course, involves writing.

I'm working on my new novel!!!! (Can you tell how excited I am? If I could add on more exclamation marks without looking like a prepubescent girl at a Bieber concert, I would.)

For the past couple of weeks, I was toying with the idea of working on Novel A and Novel B. I decided on Novel A, but after just twelve pages decided I wasn't convinced with my characters enough to go any further. And while agonising over Novel A, scenes for Novel B just kept forming in my head, and it was Novel B that I kept thinking about before I went to bed.

So last Saturday, I thought, what the heck, horrible timing be damned (it is one week before school - and all relevant madness - begins, after all), and got started on Novel B. And since then, I've written four chapters. I'm excited because it reminds me of the time I wrote LAMBS FOR DINNER, the thought process, the way the story flows out of my fingertips, the way I had to rush to keep up with the ideas in my head, the things the characters are saying in my head. I haven't felt this exhilarated while writing since LAMBS.

No, wait. I have. When I was finishing up THE DREAMCATCHERS.

Speaking of which, I've completed that! In the middle of July, in the middle of MNO1001 lect (Management and Organisation, which I'm taking to fulfil my Breadth requirement). After a whole year of second-guessing and self-doubt and almost giving up, I've finally pulled through. Sometimes, it's not that you can't write; it's that you won't. I kept telling myself I couldn't think of anything to propel the story forward, and I couldn't think of how to resolve the story. But once I got down to it, everything managed to tie itself up pretty nicely (if I do say so myself).

But now, I'm stashing THE DREAMCATCHERS away in the drawer for a month before returning to edit it (so that I will be an objective editor and my perception will not be too skewed). And on to work on secret new novel!

Oh, okay. The title's FIFTEEN MINUTES DOWN SUNSET AVENUE. I'm still not too sure about it, though. I wish I could think of some strong title, like SHIVER (by the unbelievably talented and funny Maggie Stiefvater), which captures the essence and the mood of the story.

And speaking of the WOLVES OF MERCY FALLS trilogy, I just rushed down to Kino after my swim last Thursday to buy the final installment, FOREVER! SHIVER remains one of the best-written stories I've ever read. And I am completely stoked to read FOREVER. Just the first page - just the prologue - looks so good. I'm going to relish every word and read it as slowly as possible.

Blog-surfing today led me to this post by Natalie Whipple, YA author: Happy writers: finding confidence in yourself. Which gives us a much-needed boost of assurance as we create the story we want to read, and the world we wish to live in. And What I Really Want to Say to New Writers helps put things in perspective.

On a final note, here's what I meant by 'novel experiences':

Modules I'm taking next semester:

1. LAF1201 (I just looked at the notes posted on IVLE - everything's in French. Wonderful. Just...wonderful.)
2. LAC3203 - Chinese for Science and Technology. I had fun last sem with LAC3204, laoshi was nice and really put effort in helping each of us improve in our Chinese, and the coursework was relevant and useful.
3. EL2201 - Sound System of English. Big yay for phonetics and phonology! I had fun learning that under Mie Sensei in my freshman year, sem 1.
4. EN3271. More second-guessing and self-doubt (it is writing, after all). But with critique partners and constructive criticism and lots of fun (it's one of the classes I laughed the most and hardest in ever since entering NUS).
5. EL3256 - Language in the Workplace.

Bring on senior year sem 1!