Thursday, April 30, 2009






















So it seems I've been caught playing Solitaire one too many times during work. They effin deleted ALL the games from it. Jeez.



Oh well. At least I'm allowed to WRITE. So I can at least bring my notebook and do something productive. Not that playing Solitaire isn't, really. It's total mental exercise. We all need more of that, don't we, especially working on the sales floor, where we need to be as alert and quick to respond as we possibly can? So really, if you think about it, playing Solitaire is good for the employees.



And by the way, I think reading Kellynn's blog is a potentially dangerous pastime that threatens to shatter whatever iota of ego I have left in me. She's a heart-breakingly good writer.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009






















Lately, I've been revisiting my childhood by re-reading the books I read then. I'm re-reading The Doomspell by Cliff McNish, The Prophecy of the Stones by Flavia Bujor (she's French, and only fifteen when she published her book *sighs in envy*), and Island of the Aunts by Eva Ibbotson. See? All children's books. But they're really good: rich in plot with believable, formidable villains and protagonists you just can't help rooting for.

For anyone who loves fantasy stories, you should try The Doomspell. It's the first book of a trilogy, and I SO wanna buy the whole series. I remember I was so hooked onto it the first time I read it when I was 11, that I hid under my bed and immersed myself in it for the entire afternoon. And I remember I read Island of the Aunts when I was 13, by recommendation of Stacy. Ahh, good times.

I have about an hour more before I have to get ready for work. So the interview went well yesterday, to my chagrin. You know, the interview for my admin job with SMRT. But on the bright side (yes, I am surprised there is one), that place is near Bishan MRT, which is rather near the swimming pool. So at least I'll be able to go swimming after work. Well, a glimmer of hope is better than nothing, right?

Later. xx

Friday, April 24, 2009

Thanks to my current job, I'm getting quite good at Solitaire now.

That's ... good news, I suppose, if you can look at it that way.

But there's a bad piece of news. My dad's friend recommended me a temp job, and my dad's all for me going for it. But wait, it's an ADMINISTRATIVE job. Ie, BORING. 8.15 in the morning to 5.45 in the evening. My whole day will practically be GONE. No more free time, no more time to write, no more time to swim, and no more time to YouTube. This is supposed to be my holidays. Can't I at least get a job I'll enjoy doing, and that also allows me to have some free time to do the things I want to do?

There's a reason why I never applied for any admin jobs, hello. But my dad's like, so you're going to laze at home for the rest of your holidays, is that it? Duh, NO. I'll go LOOK for a job, don't get your boxers in a twist. Plus, my dad thinks I should go for it also because it pays well. Look, I'm not one of those pragmatists, all right. I don't work for a job I dislike because the pay is good. And dad was all, oh it's just a temp job, just bear with it. Uh, bear with it FOR WHAT? For less time to write my novels? For less time to swim? For a thousand-odd dollars a month? For being stuck in a stale office five days a week?

SMRT can just not hire me for all I care. I mean, I'm sure the people there are nice and the job may not be as sucky as I'm making it out to be, but this is just really not for me, okay? SO STOP FORCING ME TO TAKE UP THE DAMN JOB!

I'd rather work in the retail line than in an office. At least you get to people-watch, and interact with more people. And you get to work shifts, which offers you some free time, at least.

Sigh. I hate this.

Anyway, on to more upbeat topics. Anoop and Lil Rounds are out! I know I probably shouldn't be so triumphant about that, but frankly, Anoop is a very boring singer (ever notice how every one of the songs he sings sounds alike?), and Lil just needs to stop screaming and start singing. I hope Matt will be out next week, and then Danny, and then Adam will win Idol, and Kris will be second, and Allison third. Allison did well last night, and so did Kris (of course! Not only is he hot, he's a talented singer as well). Adam - duh. He always does well, even when he sang that weird Crawl Through Fire (can't really remember the title, but the song had a Middle Eastern vibe) during COUNTRY week.

I've got 'Kiss the Girl' (you know, from The Little Mermaid) replaying in my head now. Gotta love the Jamaican crustacean! Oh, have I mentioned before how I think Prince Eric is the hottest prince of all Disney princes? ;) And the Beast from Beauty and the Beast ... Wait, I think I've said all this before.

See, blogging makes us such self-indulgent creatures. I have got to get out of my head.

I'm off work tomorrow, by the way.

Not that anyone but me cares.

Why am I even keeping a blog?

Anyone got any good books to recommend? I'm reading One Fifth Avenue by Candace Bushnell (author of Sex and the City, and Lipstick Jungle) currently.

Whatever.

Have a good night.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Now wasn't that just the creepiest shizz you have ever seen?

Toy Commercial Fail

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

This quote cracks me up: Blogging - Never before have so many people with so little to say said so much to so few. You realise it's kinda true too.

And I shall reinforce that idea by coming up with a random list. Because not only am I feeling guilty for not blogging for such a long time, I am also... Okay, wait. I'm coming up with this list only because I'm feeling guilty. Makes you wonder about the point of keeping a blog, doesn't it?

Anyway,

1. I need a haircut. Or at least thin my hair. This crazy-hot weather is forcing me to pull my hair into a ponytail all the time, and keeping my hair up makes my face look round/fat/wtv.
2. Why am I wasting my time talking about my hair when I'm supposed to be working on my story?
3. There's nothing good on TiVo today. CSI and Bones are boring. I'm just so not a forensics/murder-mystery person.
4. I prefer Adam Lambert with his Elvis hairstyle. That spiky punk-rocker look is so two minutes ago.
5. Why are we here? What are we here for? To get a graduate degree so we can spend our time cooped up in a cubicle and wear boring pencil skirts and heels from 9am to 6pm every weekday, just to earn a few thousand dollars ... for what? Bags? Shoes? A flat-screen? And then what? Find a partner, create a family, sink into a humdrum existence and do the same things you've been doing your whole life, only now you have more people around you demanding for the things you initially thought you wanted?
6. What I need right now is a nice bowl of cereal/muesli with milk and oatmeal. Yum.
7. No, actually, what I need right now is for one of the 'interested' agents to give me a positive response to my manuscript.
8. I hope I get to work at the Customer Service level (level 5) at Isetan for the IPC job. Because that level always looks so pretty, with the children's clothings and housewares.
9. Prince Eric from The Little Mermaid has to be the hottest prince out of all the Disney princes. I was just watching that show again this morning, over my bowl of cereal. Mm, that inky dark hair, and that firm body, that white shirt that not only contrasts with his hair but also shows off his taut chest...
10. Ariel has to be the dumbest princess of all the Disney princesses. You say you're in love, girl? You do realise all it took was a glance at him and you thought he was beautiful, don't you? Honey, I don't think that's called love. It's infatuation. Even I know that. But then again, you're 16.
11. Is Lucas a nicer name than Jacob?
12. I need song recommendation - I am quite tired of my playlist. Don't get me wrong, Iron and Wine and AC/DC are great, but there's only so many times you can stomach California by Phantom Planet, or Starry Starry Night by Don McLean.
13. Why does Melinda Clarke always play those slutty roles? The Siren from Charmed and Julie Cooper Nichols from The OC. Just a random thought.
14. The Reaper is my new addiction. It's about this guy whose parents sold his soul to the Devil when he was born and now he has to be the Devil's bounty hunter to bring escaped souls back to hell. I'm all for the frat-boy humour and uproarious dialogue. But I don't think Bret Harrison is all that cute, really. Plus, his voice keeps breaking. It's like he's stuck at 12 years old or something.
15. I always thought Aurora was the prettiest Disney princess (why am I back on this subject?), with her pretty face, long blonde locks tumbling down her back, and that chic grey dress.
16. But the best Disney cartoon has to be Pocahontas. I love the messages it sends out - interracial romance, the futility of coporate greed against what really matters (You can own the Earth and still/ All you'll own is earth until/ You can paint with all the colours of the wind). Plus, the romance is believable, and the dialogue schweeeet:
Pocahontas - It would've been better if we never met. None of this would've happened.
John Smith - Pocahontas, look at me. I'd rather die tomorrow than live a hundred years without knowing you.
Pocahontas - I can't leave you.
John Smith - You never will. No matter what happens to me, I'll always be with you, forever.
That is so my favourite part out of every Disney movie ever made.
17. I don't have anything against Lil Rounds apart from the fact that she makes my ears bleed everytime she sings.
18. Allison Irahyeta's Don't Speak by No Doubt was horribly off-key when she got to the chorus. She's just not good enough.
19. I miss SAJC. Good times.
20. Yoga sounds boring. Besides, who wants to be stuck in a steam-room with other sweating people for two hours? But I have to say, most people who do yoga have toned butts. But then again, you can get a toned butt from swimming, walking, running... Wait, running makes your thighs and calves big. Oh well. Nothing beats swimming.

You know, I think that quote is right about the fact that we bloggers have pretty little to say. Okay, this blogger, at least. What you just read is a rather - rather? try very - self-indulgent drivel about everything and nothing in my life. Thank you for your time, but then again, if you've come all the way here, you must have had a lot of time to spare in the first place. So thank you for thinking of my blog when you needed something to burn away those extra minutes you didn't know what to do with. Have a good day.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

I guess I've gone long enough without an update.



So here is some good news. For me, at least. About three - or is it four? - agents have asked to look at my manuscript because my query interested them. I'm not getting my hopes up yet, of course. So many agents have expressed interest initially before realising that my writing style was not 'the best fit' for them.



The waiting bit is the part I can't stand. We're expected to give the agents about 4-6 weeks for them to read our manscripts, see. And only a week has passed since I last sent out my manuscript. *FINGERS CROSSED*



On another note, Bedful of Moonlight is taking shape! That's good news, because I'd been on a hiatus from it (about three weeks maybe?) and writing short stories in the meantime. What can I say. The well runs dry sometimes, and I could think of nothing to get my story moving along. But those swimming sessions are strangely therapeutic. When you get lost in your thoughts, you hardly even notice you're swimming. It's funny.



I'm not revealing anything yet, but let's just say that Caleb's family becomes a lot more complicated than before.



And I've decided. After Bedful of Moonlight, I'm going to write one last story that takes place in the estate of Wroughton. I'll call it the Wroughton Series, where three unrelated stories (with the exception of a few cameos) take place there. And then, depending on if I have anymore stories I can tell that takes place in there, I'll probably move on to other stuff. Another story, another setting.



Also, I'm taking part in the Golden Point Award 2009, organised by SPH and NAC. It costs 16 bucks to take part in it. I just hope it'll be worth my money, and time, and effort, and ink, and paper.



Updates sound so boring. I prefer internal monologues, or verbal vomit (as I prefer to call it), don't you?



Oh by the way, I've picked out my books to exchange on the 25th. I just riffed through my cartons and cartons of old books yesterday (dust bunnies everywhere, jeez) and unearthed all those books from so many years ago that I even forgot I had. Tales from Fairyland? Mr Meddle's Mischief? Snowball the Pony? Seven O'Clock Tales? Those are classic, man. Enid Blyton was such a huge part of my childhood. You're high if you think I'm giving them away.



I am, however, going to give away some Picoult and some Charmed. (Okay, wait, on second thoughts, I don't think I'll give them away after all - come on, you don't expect me to give them all away, even though I don't read them now! They symbolise a milestone in my life.) And Can You Keep A Secret, and The Au Pairs, and The Bergdorf Blondes (the dumbest book I have ever read - no offence, Plum Sykes), and The Growing Pains of Adrian Mole or something like that (you know, the diaries of some British teenage boy who keeps measuring his dick and obsesses about his girlfriend's tits? Dude, talk about boring. I so do not want to know what the hell a guy thinks about his body and everybody else's. But to be fair, this was the only book in the series I've actually ever read, so he mightn't have been so obsessive anymore), and some Sabrina the Teenage Witch (okay, STOP laughing) and The OC (I know I was in love with it when I was fifteen or so, but oh well, guess it was just another phase).



Swimming now, sweethearts. TTYL :) But before I leave, here's some hotness for the day.



Thursday, April 02, 2009

Frustration is an unbearable feeling. And I'm feeling a lot of that lately. It's not just because no literary agent is showing interest in my work; it's because none of the people I know are willing to read my work. No one - no one - is interested in When the Lilies Turn Orange at all. No one's going, "Omg, I absolutely love the characters you created and I especially love this scene where (insert scene)..." Everyone's just telling me to keep going at it and that my story's fine. Fine is not a critique. It is hardly even an opinion at all. Worse, it might even mean that they didn't bother to read it, so this word is all they can offer to get me off their backs.

I don't understand. Why isn't anyone interested at all? Does my story really suck that much? My worth as a writer has been shot to shit. If I can't even get my friends and family to support it, who else can I get? Those published writers, they all seem to have members of their family or friends who are such devout fans of their books, so much so that they read every draft, and go into long, in-depth discussions as to how to bring the book further. That is true dedication, that is true interest and fandom. People whom I had expected would read my story and get excited about it - at least relate to the characters - aren't. I'm not demanding them to go around promoting my book, but somehow I can't help but feel this sense of disappointment, you know?

I was just listening to Runaway World by Making April, and the song brought me back to that glorious period just after A's and I kept going to Toa Payoh stadium to run/walk and then the library later to do research for/work on my story. The magic is still in that song. It was so much fun working on Lilies; it gave me such joy to be thinking of how I should move the story forward, or make the characters interact, or reveal something each chapter bit by bit until the end, or finally tie everything up at the end.

I remember the almost-debilitating sense of loss that had settled upon me as I edited the last page of the very first stand-alone novel I'd completed (previous attempts don't count - they're more like trial runs to me, since none of them were ever as solidly close to me like Lilies was). I miss playing Runaway World repeatedly when I needed to write a scene between Connell and Raven, and I miss working on Lilies altogether. I put so much of myself into that story.

Want to know why?

Because I had fallen in love with it. It may sound conceited, what I've just said. But I'm sure every writer is in love with their stories, especially if they've seen it all the way to the end. Why else would they believe in it so much as to go to all the trouble of looking for an agent, going through all the editing process and promotional events? They believe in the story they had to tell, the story they had worked hard to tell for the past year or so, just like I believe in mine. Lilies has become part of my life; it stands for a period of time in my life that I truly enjoyed. Writing a novel, you see, is like what child birth is reputed to be like: you forget all the pain - the frustration, the writer's blocks, the days you doubt yourself - once it's over. After the novel's complete and edited, it's your baby, a piece of you and you'd do anything to see it do well.

That's why it pains me so much now that no-one believes in my baby the way I do. Will it have to come to the point where I'd have to pay people to read my story? That would be a tragedy.

All this angst kind of makes me wonder if passion for something is enough to take you where you want to be.

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Frustration.

WHY WON'T ANYBODY READ MY DAMN STORY.

WHY WON'T ANY AGENT GIVE ME A POSITIVE RESPONSE.

Fuck it all.

I need some Aladdin to pull me out of this rut.

Once Upon a December

A Whole New World

Colors of the Wind