Saturday, January 01, 2011

So. We've crossed over to 2011. Without much fanfare. On my part, at least. I was dog-tired yesterday, so just slept my way through the midnight mark. Just like last year. And possibly the year before.

It seems New Years present the highest surge in everything. Hope and enthusiasm, most of all. Everyone's eager to get started on their New Year resolutions and make this year the pivotal year of their lives. Turn their lives around (if it had sucked before) so to speak. Just at the pool today I saw so many new faces, all eagerly diving into the water, brimming with the eager hopefulness of trimming down or getting fit. A few months later, these new faces usually disappear. That's what happened last year. And possibly the year before, too.

Anyway. I shan't get cynical again. Because for all my scorn for New Year resolutions, I've come up with an unofficial one too. And being less cynical and disillusioned is one of my resolutions for 2011. Much as I don't place much stock in New Year resolutions (if you really want to do something, why wait till next year?), this list is more of a promise - a reminder, if you will - to myself.

1. Write SOMETHING everyday. Be it a blog post, an essay, even just a haiku - write.

2. Meet people. Stop shying away from making new friends and find topics to talk about with the old. I shall leave this at that.

3. Be less disillusioned and jaded with life. Find more interests. Find inspiration.

4. Have hope.

5. Be happy - to put my father's mind at ease. He's always worried that I'm unhappy or dissatisfied. I am, but I don't want him to see it. He's working long hours at the sales floor, tired, busy and stressed. I don't want him to worry about me anymore. So I'll channel Jiro's undefeatable spirit, so that my dad will see me happy and be happy in turn. This brings me to

6. Remember Sunflower Baby, Jiro. He was poor, and had to juggle three part-time jobs while studying in an arts college after his father died when he was 18. He met lots of obstacles on his way to becoming an artist and an artiste, but he never gave up his first love: art. He's recently published his autobiography, Me and van Gogh, which contains his art works, and has sold more than a million copies so far. Persistence in pursuing his dreams! Corny as that may sound, his persistence makes me want to strive even harder to reach mine.

[Sidenote: I really don't think Jiro's just a pretty face. Sure, he's absolutely good-looking, but his upbeat, unbeatable personality spurs me on to think on the brighter side of life. I realise I'm employing way too many cliched phrases for my health, but looking at him gives me hope, because he's Sunflower Baby! Tenacious, outgoing, passionate, loyal. He brings joy to the people he loves, and asks for none back. His pure, childlike heart and thoughtfulness is probably the reason why so many people love him in return. His past is moving, his present empowering, his future limitless.]

You begin to see why New Year resolutions don't work for me. Most of them are abstract to the extent of being pointless. But, you know, in the spirit of all things new, I drew up one for the sake of it.

What I want to do/achieve in 2011:

1. Learn the piano. My biggest regret was when I turned down my dad's offer to put me in a music school when I was young, all because I was afraid the teacher would be fierce. He said he didn't want to pressure me, so he didn't insist when I rejected learning the piano.

2. Land a literary agent who believes strongly in my manuscript, Lambs for Dinner.

3. Complete two novels by the end of 2011. At the moment, I have THREE Shiny New Ideas waiting to be developed. To have three SNIs is completely rare, for me at least - and for most writers - but the ideas came as I was working on The Dreamcatchers and now I don't know which one to work on while I work my way out of the rut I've gunned myself into for The Dreamcatchers.
Long story short, I resolve to be more optimistic and push through until I get what I want: to get published. And in the meantime, I shall adopt Jiro's approach to life and be happy so that the people I love will be happy.

Happy 2011!

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