Okay. You have no idea how guilty I'm feeling right now. Because guess what. For all that discipline and self-control I've tried to carve into my thick, greedy, gluttony, numbskull, I almost cleared half a mega-tub of hazelnut ice-cream from Movenpick yesterday and today. So all in all, yesterday and today combined, I've scarved down about four scoops of ice-cream.

Plus, I had three slices of thin-crust Hawaiian pizza from Delifrance (it sucks; don't ever try it - oh wait, try it, then you'll waste the 8 bucks I did and I'll feel less bad about it. The cheese was overgrilled, and mozarella-who? I could hardly taste any sign of it) at noon, a charsiew pau in the morning, and after the pizza, I decided to 'treat' myself to a curry puff from Old Chang Kee (after deprivation from it for over a year), which turned out to be a REAL mistake, because then, afterwards, I went on to buy a walnut-raisin muffin from Rocky Master at PS. Shoulda eaten the pizza from there. For one thing, it was smaller. And for another, it was cheaper than Delifrance's. And as yet another plus, it looked more appetising too.

And then, my eldest aunt swung by in the evening. With lotsa gifts and goodies on her sleigh as usual. She gave me this Nike bag, some sports bras, some tee-shirts, a pair of Le Coq Sportif track pants, a really nice diary (dunno where she gets them; they're really exquisite), a Nike cap and tank top and a bagful of cosmetics (skincare products).

Plus, of course - the darn ice-cream. Pistachio and Hazelnut. Two tubfuls of sinful indulgences taunting me, beckoning, to taste them. Well, the pistachio sucked. I never liked pistachio ice-cream (though I love the nut); it tastes like puke. But the hazelnut's my Achilles' heel. If I can even be called Achilles. I'm sure the Greek hero of the Trojan War had WAAAAAY more self-control than I did. Or do.

It said 9 grams of fat, 17 grams of carbo and about 500 milligrams of sodium. I bet they're lying. How can that entire tub of ICE-CREAM (aka, sugar overload) filled with NUTS (omega-3 fatty acid overload) contain only 9 grams of fat?!?! It doesn't make any sense! Not that I'm complaining, of course. I very much wish that were true, but come on, even though they used skimmed milk and all that, I highly doubt there's only 9 grams of lipids in it.

I told myself yesterday was a once-in-a-VERY-darn-blue-moon treat, and that I would have to pay for all that I've ingested yesterday in the next few months to come. But oh no. Look what I've done today. Gone ahead and wolfed down another two generous helpings of ice-cream. I'm just lying to myself, man, consoling myself. I don't deserve to be consoled, or treated. I deserve to be punished for losing control like that. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?! Why am I such a sucker for high-calorie foods?!?!

Okay, you know what. For the whole of the next schoolyear, this is my meal plan:

- Morning (6.30 am): 1 bowl of whole-wheat cereal with low-fat milk OR 1 cup of yoghurt and a piece of fruit (on mornings where there's no PE).

- Mid-morning (9.30 - 10 am): fruits.

- Noon (12 - 1 pm): 1 wholemeal sandwich OR an omelette with salad and beans.

Then after school, I either walk home, or hit the gym for some cardio workout, or head home straight for circuit training.

- Dinner: fruits OR vegetables that my grandmother has cooked (and maybe SOME fish).

I read from some magazine that naturally slim people are creatures of habit, ie. their meal patterns are mostly fixed, and they HAVE SELF CONTROL.

Plus, it's alright to have a hearty breakfast.

And the more you weigh, and the more muscles you have, the higher your metabolism.

And consuming proteins raises the metabolism as it takes more energy to digest them.

Also, carbs create the feeling of satiety so we feel full and our appetites (ie, cravings for high-fat food) will be curbed.

And guess what:

- 5 pretzels only contain 114calories and 1g of fat.

- 20 baked tortilla chips: 110 calories and 1g of fat.

- 1 slice of raisin bread: 88cal, 1g fat.

- 20 choc-coated raisins: 78cal, 3g fat.

I sound like I'm consoling myself, don't I. Gawd, I feel like such a loser. How pathetic. I'm not eating to live; I'm living to eat. Am I being controlled by food? It kinda sounds like I am.

Anyway. GIRLS, THERE'S A NEW HOTTIE THAT I JUST DISCOVERED AFTER WATCHING ELLA ENCHANTED YESTERDAY NIGHT!

Yup, HUGH DARCY! He's dating Claire Danes. What a perfect match. She's so pretty and he's so cute; they make a complementary pair. Damn, it's like the more I watched him play Prince Char, the cuter I found him. I totally whizzed off to Google him after the show was over. And you know, from some angles, he kinda looks like Orlando Bloom. And from another, he resembles Hugh Jackman.

But you know what? He's 32! That's even more ancient than Bloom.

But damn, he's cute!

Plus, Anne Hathaway's really beautiful. She's got a great singing voice, talking voice, lovely smile, AND she's tall with a great complexion and large almond eyes, a sharp nose and luscious lips (except her mouth's a lil too wide). How unfair.

OH AND BY THE WAY, GUESSWHATGUESSWHATGUESSWHAT?!?!?!

I was at Borders today and I saw the BOOK: Supernatural! Yeah, HarperCollins has published books based on 'the hit TV series'. With DEAN and Sam Winchester on the cover, no less! SCREAM MAJOR! I totally bagged them. 34 bucks gone. But that's okay. I used my own savings, you know, so it's not like I'm wasting my dad's money. I won't even use the word waste. More like spend. There's a difference. 'Waste' is less redemptive than 'spend'.

Anyway. Can they PLEASE. PLEASE. PLEASE. PLEASE. PLEASE. Come out with the Supernatural Season 2 DVD already! It's been released in the US since Sept 11, and I've been WAITING, PINING, since then. It's been more than three whole feckin months, people! Stop torturing me! I'm torturing myself enough!